But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
