brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
