Yo dont text me then not text me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
