I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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