found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
