Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
