There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
