I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
