he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
