You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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