Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
