whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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