we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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