I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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