everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
