i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
