i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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