I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
