I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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