You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
