is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Congratulations! We have a period
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
