Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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