I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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