why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
