tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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