you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
