just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
