please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
