my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
