I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
