what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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