Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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