did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
