Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
