at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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