A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
