We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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