Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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