im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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