My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
