There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She bit a glass in half.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
