were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
