So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
