I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Where is the hickey?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
