Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
