She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize