I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Houston, we have a blender
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
