I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
