just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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