garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish I could teleport
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
