If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
