Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Someone shattered a urinal.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
